The world dances in a shadowy sway
And I know nothing but this wall's dark face
Freedom is simply a few steps away
But I will not break the shackle's embrace
Suddenly I am dragged into the light
It burns and it blinds but after some time
My vision resolves and I see my plight:
Our complacency; the prisoner's crime
I rush back to that decrepit cavern
My mind filled with wondrous enlightenment
But despite my joy they could not discern
What the words that they heard truthfully meant
The comfort of ignorance is a curse
Those who dwell in it are all for the worse
(I attempted iambic pentameter, but could not really figure out the stressed/unstressed structure, so I simply did 10-syllable lines. Any tips on iambic pentameter would be much appreciated!)
I didn't really see anything wrong with your sonnet and the iambic pentameter, but I could be wrong. I'm a little shaken on the "flesh" and "embrace" rhyme. Other than that, I think it was really cool to see someone take the perspective into first person. It offers a different meaning. Awesome job Josh! 5 shiny pennies for you.
ReplyDeletehttp://ukimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/
Delete:D
DeleteWhoa, didn't even notice that. I changed the rhyme I had originally, guess I forgot to get that part. Thanks, I'll figure out a way around it.
DeleteWow great sonnet Josh. I also tried iambic pentameter but could not figure it out worth anything. Well done Josh!!
ReplyDeleteReally like your pacing here, lends itself to a fluid flow from line to line Josh, you did an excellent job as usual!
ReplyDeleteGreat Sonnet! I also attempted Iambic Pentameter (I thought we were supposed to do it as part of the project). You went above and beyond by attempting it.
ReplyDeleteNice imagery and I like how this sonnet seems very real and not so magical. The man is doing a lot of actions and he has emotion (excitement and joy). My only critic would be the part where he's "dragged" out of the cave. In the allegory its more of a self choice to free your self and leave the cave.
ReplyDeleteYou have a rhyming pattern and 14 lines and I think Iambic Pentameter just takes a lot of work and it's more about how much you willing to work on it. Good job.
I agree with Justin, I really enjoyed your imagery. I did notice your rhyme scheme but it wasn't in Iambic pentameter.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with ^^ the imagery that you have constructed for the audience really sets a mood of awe. Good job and don't worry about iambic pentameter, most people did their best with it and as long as you follow the structure of a sonnet (i.e. ABAB rhyme) your good.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Justin and Felicitas...I really like the structure of the sonnet.
ReplyDeleteI like the ending a great understanding "The comfort of ignorance is a curse Those who dwell in it are all for the worse". A great way to motivate people who might not see that there is a danger associated with being to comfortable in the reflections of reality.
ReplyDeleteThis sonnet is really well done! I really liked the line...
ReplyDelete"The comfort of ignorance is a curse"
it came out strong and I loved how you ended with it! The structure is perfect and everything is well written (as always), Good job!
Can you comment on my blog please :)
http://media.beta.photobucket.com/user/nyteshayd04/media/Joker.gif.html?filters[term]=the%20joker%20clapping&filters[primary]=images&o=11
ReplyDeleteYou don't really need iambic pentameter (rather, I hope you don't 'cause I sure as hell didn't use it) and your sonnet is fine as is. I like your personal take on the process of enlightenment, too.
ReplyDeleteI did the the ten syllable only thing too. Iambic pentameter is confusing. I liked how you put yourself in the sonnet.
ReplyDeleteplease comment on mine
http://pkimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-caves-sonnet.html
I love it from this point of view! Totally helps to understand!
ReplyDelete"The comfort of ignorance is a curse
ReplyDeleteThose who dwell in it are all for the worse"
Those two lines are very powerful. Great job!
Amazing job, this is a great sonnet. Well done! :D
ReplyDeleteNice job on the structure and imagery and it seems to follow the sonnet "rules" awesome!
ReplyDeletegreat sonnet!
ReplyDeletei dont have questions on the book so far
my blog is http://danig14.blogspot.com/