Feedback from anybody is much appreciated, just leave a comment on this post. Don't pull your punches either, criticism is what leads to improvement! Thanks.
For the doubtful and the paranoid, here's a screenshot of Justin's email:
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Peer Feedback #1
The 1987 AP Exam essays I wrote can be found here and here.
Feedback from anybody is much appreciated, just leave a comment on this post. Don't pull your punches either, criticism is what leads to improvement! Thanks.
For the doubtful and the paranoid, here's a screenshot of Justin's email:
Feedback from anybody is much appreciated, just leave a comment on this post. Don't pull your punches either, criticism is what leads to improvement! Thanks.
For the doubtful and the paranoid, here's a screenshot of Justin's email:
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Kris Green already evaluated the essays on Thursday. Here's what he wrote in the comments from the essays' respective posts.
ReplyDeleteEssay 1:
Throughout the essay the author shows excellent word choice. The vocabulary in use flows well with the entirety of essay. As for the content you can expect no less, the author thoroughly shows Eliot's opinion on the difference between old leisure and "post-time". Using many examples from both the text and personal experience and beliefs the author describes the nostalgia of Eliot's work. The essay deserves a score of great success and is in my opinion worth and 8-9 based on the 1987 scoring guide.
Essay 2:
The author shows a complete understanding of the literary work being analyzed. He shows how the author of the literary work advocates changes in social attitudes and traditions, then analyzes the techniques used by the author to cause these changes. There is evidence of strong stylistic maturity and planned diction. The author should be awarded with of a score of 8-9 for his hard work and effort.
Essay 1
ReplyDeleteThe authors diction was very organized and precise. The opinion of Eliot not knowing if the "old leisure" was actually as good as he said was very persuasive to start thinking about.
Essay 2
With the focus of this essay being on the book the author shows how well he figured everything out and analyzed it really well. This was a well written essay.
Will Veroski's thoughts, from the comments on Essay 1:
ReplyDeleteThe essay is well thought out and well written. The word choice is very high level, and the whole thing flows very well. It flows well. It is a very successful essay. The only thing is not to focus on the author's beliefs, and shift focus in some on the starting paragraphs to the author's form and how they persuade their point through writing techniques slightly more.
Ryland Towne's comments from the respective essay posts:
ReplyDeleteEssay 1
Josh you honestly amaze me with your ability to write at such a high level. I can say that this is a flawless essay.
Essay 2
Again this essay is completely flawless. This author should receieve nothing less than a solid 9. The level that the author writes at is certainly beyond highschool (even college). Great work!!
Here's what Bernardo Gonzales commented on the essay posts:
ReplyDeleteEssay 1
Ditto what Ryland said. This essay contains great word choice which expresses the author's ability to write at a college level.
Essay 2
I give this essay a 9 because of the author's fantastic ability to convey his thoughts in a nearly flawless manner. This essay as well as the first has great diction choice and uses rhetorical strategies in answering the prompt's question.
Here are Justin Thompson's thoughts on the essay (emailed to me, as Blogger was having trouble recognizing him as human):
ReplyDeleteI really feel lazy here but I just can't find anything wrong with your essays. Your at such a higher level of writing skill then me that really can't find anythign that needs to be improved. You understand what the authors are trying to say, you know what your trying to say and your able to express your ideas with a very rich vocabulary. The only bit of advice that I can give you is to keep doing what your doing. I dont know if its just from reading books a lot (obviosly talented with writing) but however you've learned to write so good dont stop learning and keep getting better.